Cry me a river
by reikamae
Summary: *Redone and complete* Squall leaves for 3 months but something unexplained happens and leads two people to make one decision that changes everything... Slight OOC.
1. The situation

This is my first song fic, so I dont know how this one'll go. I hope it's to your liking. For those of you who know this song (Cry me a River by Justin Timberlake) you might be able to guess what'll happen. We'll see. If you have any questions just e-mail me.

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Cry Me a River: The situation…

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By Reikamae

Squall and Rinoa have been together for quite some time now. Everyone had gotten used to Squall's 'new found' personality- but sometimes he'd go back to that same shut up Squall from before. Things were the same as always; Squall and Seifer were constantly at each other's necks (literally), Zell was still Squall's best friend, and Selphie and Irvine were also hitting it off. The same old, same old. Some say this is just how things would always be. Not so- it all changed with one decision…

Months after Ultemicia was sealed away Squall was invited to a program that offered in training a lot more than Balamb Garden could. This program was different from others- in fact, you could just call it intense training for three straight months. Only a select few were admitted every year due to the fact that it was so dangerous that many died before graduating. The 'gang' was excited and proud of Squall for receiving such a privilege. Only Rinoa was the one skeptical about letting him go. She knew it was good for him, for his future, but she couldn't be apart from him for that long. 

Finally the morning came for him to leave. They all gathered at the front gate to bid him good luck. Zell was the second to the last to say his goodbyes. 

The spiky haired blonde slapped Squall heartily on the back. "Hey, so I'll see you in three months, yeah? Remember to concentrate and strive for more than you can do- no funny stuff now."

Squall smiled knowing he would miss the troublemaker and his practical jokes and nature. "Whatever. I'll be fine. Watch over Rinoa for me, okay? I know she's not taking this very well. Besides, you're the only one who really understands how much she means to me."

"You got it." Zell straightened up and saluted but started to laugh in the middle of it. Shrugging it off he gave his best friend a hard embrace. "I'm going to miss you buddy, but I think the one next in line has waited long enough…" With one last laugh Zell turned around and joined the others at the gate.

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You were my sun…

With her head staring at the ground, Rinoa walked slowly towards Squall thinking if she went slow enough he wouldn't have to leave. She knew it wouldn't work, but now she had given up on trying to make him stay a long time ago. It was nearly impossible to keep him away from the things he loved to do most; the thrill of danger and adrenaline pumping through his veins… Quietly she sighed when she had caught sight of his black boots. Why now? Why did he have to leave her when things were starting to get, if not already, perfect?

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You were my earth…

Trying to keep his composure, Squall gradually took Rinoa into his muscular arms and just held her. "Shhh…" He knew she had been upset about this the moment she found out how long he would be gone and how dangerous it was going to be. Of course he was distressed about leaving her here, but he knew the others were more than happy to look after her while he was gone.

Rinoa tried to speak, but her throat was dry and she couldn't find the words to express her feelings. Instead hot, salty tears ran down her face, landing on Squall's neck. She tried to hold it in, but couldn't- she had held everything in for too long.

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But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no…

"Don't worry baby… I'll be back as soon as I can. Zell, Selphie, Quistis, and Irvine have promised to take care of you and make sure you're here and happy when I come back for you. Remember that they are always there for you no matter what." For a few minutes they just stood there in each other's arms with Squall murmuring comforting words. When Rinoa had stopped crying he continued, "Rinoa, you don't need to cry anymore. You can always call me and send me letters and stuff. One more thing- make me a promise… to never cry unless your heart is _truly_ broken. That's what Sis would always tell me at the orphanage…" Squall gently lifted Rinoa's chin and looked into her chocolate brown eyes, smiling. "Don't worry. I love you." He gently wiped away the last of her tears before kissing her.

"I love you too, and I promise- forever." After one last kiss Squall left Balamb Garden and got inside the car.

When the car was out of sight, Rinoa turned and ran past the others towards the Garden with streams of tears running down her face. Zell and Selphie attempted to go after her but Quistis quietly raised a hand. "She needs time on her own. Later after dinner one of you can check on her. I'll make sure she doesn't leave campus. Now go and finish your business." Quistis didn't bother to hide the hurt look on her face.

After Selphie finished her dinner she told Zell she would make sure Rinoa was okay. It didn't take very long for her to find Rinoa. When Rinoa was upset she usually visited the gardens down in the Quad area. Selphie found Rinoa leaning over a balcony staring out into the beautiful orange and pink tinted sky. She had at least stopped crying, but Selphie could hear her sniffing still. "Rinoa?"

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Why did you leave me, all alone…

Apparently Rinoa was deeply lost in thought because she didn't move to acknowledge her. She tried again, but when that didn't work she walked over and stood next to Rinoa putting a comforting arm around her as a consolation. "It'll be okay. I'm not saying that it has to be right this second, but you'll see, things will be fine in a few weeks."

Rinoa took in a deep breath before speaking. "…I know. It's just that I finally found the right person to spend the rest of my life with and he goes and puts himself in danger. He could die!" 

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All of these things people tell me…

Selphie saw tears welling up in Rinoa's eyes so she quickly found something appropriate to say. "Yes, but don't you think he was in enough danger when he was saving you? All that time you didn't think once that he could've died for you? I fact, he almost died for you… Don't you see? He's doing this for you… to protect you. And because he loves you with all his heart."

Slowly a smile crept across Rinoa's flushed face. For the first time in weeks she smiled. "Thanks Selphie. I guess you're right. Make sure I don't lose it again, okay?" Rinoa turned and hugged Selphie knowing the Squall was right once again- they were always there for her.

It was almost time for Squall to come home and everyone, especially Rinoa, was excited. But one night she received a horrifying call-

"Squall's what?!" Rinoa dropped the phone and collapsed onto the floor sobbing uncontrollably. Luckily Quistis and Irvine was nearby. Quistis immediately ran to Rinoa and Irvine picked up the phone to finish the conversation.

"Rinoa! What's the matter?! What happened…?" Quistis couldn't make her stop crying but managed to get her head into her lap. She tried to sooth her by stroking her forehead, which was starting to get warm.

Irvine was concerned about Rinoa but thought he could get answers from the person on the phone. "Hello? No, she's very upset right now. What did you tell her?! Who are you? What- He… T-thank you. …Bye." Once he hung up the phone Irvine steadily strode over to where Quistis and Rinoa were.

Looking up and seeing the look on Irvine's face confused Quistis. She narrowed her eyebrows sensing that the news was bad. Did she want to know? "What is it?"

Irvine looked down at the floor and slowly answered her question. "Squall… Squall's dead."

A/N: Great place to leave off at, right? Well- there's alot more to come. Please remember to review! Oh, and for future reference the lyrics might be altered a little or not in order. Thanks for reading!


	2. that triggered the decision

Here's chapter two of Cry me a river... Hope you still want to read the rest of it! Just a reminder that this is a songfic with slight OOCness and the lyrics might be altered and out of order. Also slight lime/lemon whatever you call it in this chapter. (If you don't get the chapter names, read all three of them together in a sentence... -_-;;)

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Cry Me a River: …that triggered the decision;…

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By Reikamae

"No…" Quistis drew in a sharp breath to keep herself from crying. Her number one priority was Rinoa who was now shaking so much from shock. "We need to get her calmed down. I'll leave her with Zell after we tell the others."

Irvine immediately understood and carefully lifted Rinoa into his arms as he followed Quistis.

The once perky Zell was now sluggish and quiet. Since word spread fast the whole Garden seemed down. Even Seifer and his 'gang' felt sorry for all the things they've done in the past. Quistis told Zell to stay with Rinoa to make sure she didn't do anything to herself due to grief. It also gave something for Zell to do besides sulking around the Garden. 

Once he got to her dormitory door he knocked softly even though he expected no answer. He cautiously opened the door not knowing what to expect. After a quick search of the room he found her sprawled on the bed face down. He took off his shoes and slowly sat next to her not knowing what to do. Should he talk to her? Touch her?

"…I…I loved him…" Rinoa's voice was muffled from the blanket but it was so quiet in the room so Zell could still understand her.

Zell slowly ran his hand through her soft, silky black hair. "You still do. Just because you don't see him or touch him physically doesn't mean he's not here. Squall will always be watching over you no matter what…" His voice trailed off when Rinoa turned over on her back.

Her eyes were swollen and puffy from all the crying and her face had turned a soft pink. Zell could see she had been clawing her face in frustration because there were several bleeding lines running down her face. He got up and went into the bathroom to get a wet washcloth. When he got back he found her sleeping soundly. After putting a spare blanket around her and cleaning her face he lay next to her and also fell asleep.

A few hours later Zell woke with a start. It had gotten so warm for some reason making him take off his shirt. He checked on Rinoa who was still sleeping- she was shivering like she was cold but when he touched her forehead he found she had a fever. Acting quickly he wrapped another blanket around her and carefully carried her over to the infirmary where he also called the others.

Dr. Kadowaki said it was just a fever from all the stress and shock. She advised for them to calm down so it wouldn't happen again. "Judging from her temperature she should be out in a few days. I'll call any of you if anything happens."

Everyday Zell visited Rinoa and brought her gifts. He knew this is what Squall would've wanted- for him to care good care of Rinoa. Rays of sunshine cascaded down from the slits of the drawn blinds and onto Rinoa's white blanket. Minutes later she stirred and turned to find Zell staring at nothing; thinking.

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Why did you leave me, all alone… 

"…Why? Why… did he leave me all alone?" Her voice was barely audible due to fatigue.

Zell snapped out of his thoughts and shook his head. "He didn't. I told you he's here with you, always. And don't you forget that you have us, too."

A little later Dr. Kadowaki walked in and said Rinoa was good enough to leave the infirmary tomorrow morning. Zell thanked her for everything as she left.

Rinoa was still upset but managed to do some activities with Quistis and Selphie. Since he had offered earlier, Zell took Rinoa back to her room. She invited him inside for a minute while she got herself settled in for the night. Once she was ready Zell bid her goodnight and started to leave but was stopped with a request from her. "Please stay with me tonight. I don't like being alone…"

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So you took a chance…

"I… don't know." Was it okay? It wasn't like they were going to do anything. Besides, he didn't like leaving her here by herself not knowing what she would do to herself. "Alright. I'll be back after telling the-"

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And made other plans…

"No. Please… just stay here with me…" 

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But I bet you didn't think your thing would come crashing down, no…

Zell couldn't resist the pleading look in her eyes. "Yeah, okay." 

Rinoa walked over to the bathroom and changed into her nightshirt and shorts while Zell stripped down to his boxers outside. When Zell was done he was ready to climb into bed but stopped in confusion when Rinoa spoke. "…Hold me…"

Turning around Zell was afraid to meet Rinoa's eyes, unsure of what to do. After much debate in his head he decided she was just feeling unloved and needed a reassuring hug. He gradually stepped close enough to Rinoa and wrapped his arms around her small frame. It had gotten quiet from the awkward moment so Zell heard Rinoa start to cry again. Her warm tears ran down his toned chest and landed on her dark blue tank top. Zell tightened his grip around her hoping it gave some condolence. Casually he kissed the top of her head and calmly whispered soothing words.

Almost on instinct Rinoa gently kissed his collarbone. With all the things that had happened in the past few days she wasn't thinking anymore. She didn't care… Rinoa kissed him again on the nape of his neck and lightly pressed herself against him, yearning for him to return her efforts.

Zell forgot everything and ran his hand under her shirt caressing the smooth skin. Where had this feeling come from? He started with her forehead and left a trail of kisses down the side of her face and stopped at her neck where he delicately licked the warm skin. Rinoa shuddered making Zell pull her in tighter.

One of Rinoa's hands seductively slid across his chest and wrapped around his neck, slowly running through the base of his hair. The other pulled her shirt off, which she threw down next to Zell's feet.

Now Zell closed his eyes and let his lips find Rinoa's. The kiss was sweet and passionate satisfying both hunger and want. Zell turned themselves around to face Rinoa's back to the bed and slowly lowered her down careful not to break the tender kiss…

A/N: And you could just guess what happened... hmmm. I didn't want to go too far cause I wanted it still PG-13. I might extend it later as an 'R' rated thing. Next chapter is the last one! Those of you that know the song might already know what's going to happen... Don't forget to review!


	3. the explanations

First of all, thanks for the reviews! As you can see, I am very much an amateur at this sort of thing even though I've been writing for quite some time now. (It's not one of my strong points.) Also, I lied! There is going to be a fourth chapter to this- I didn't think about the spacing of the events very well. The last chapter might be shorter than the others though.

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Cry Me a River: …the explanations…

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By Reikamae

When Zell opened his eyes he immediately closed them; the bright morning light escaping through the shut blinds. It was warm, unusually warm for it just being him. He slid deeper into the bed letting the smooth sheets brush against his naked body. Saturday- a time of rest. Zell just lay there thinking about what Rinoa was going to do about it now that Squall was gone. "I should go visit her later…" He thought out loud.

"Visit who?" The small delicate voice startled Zell and made him jump out of bed.

He stood there staring at Rinoa's face in confusion trying to put all the pieces together. "Shit!…Fu-" Catching himself he silently cursed to himself from then on. He couldn't believe what he did. That meant he betrayed his best friend in the worst possible way. Had he even liked it? If he did, that would make it even more unexplainable. He looked around and saw his boxers on the floor and put them on.

As he was dressing Rinoa asked, "Where are you going?"

Now Zell was starting to panic as well as being angry and frustrated, making him stutter. "We- don't go telling people about what we did. This isn't- will never be- right. I didn't know what I was thinking. I shouldn't have done this…"

"You're right. I didn't know what I was thinking either. Maybe it was just from- or it could be a- oh hell, I don't know! I-I'm sorry Zell. I really am…" She slowly got out of bed and started to change too.

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That some things are better left unsaid…

"Well, we can't do anything about this right now except to lie. It's going to be hard, but we can't let anyone find out about this. Promise me, okay?"

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And don't it make you sad about it…

Rinoa quickly thought about this. There really was no other way. They were both going to have to act like nothing happened and live life the way it came. But it would hurt to lie to all of her close friends about something so serious as sex. Tears started to well up in her eyes as she looked back at Zell. "…I promise…"

Spring rolled into summer and summer into fall. Nobody had suspected anything about Zell and Rinoa. They were all coping the fact that Squall was not with them and never would be. But one chilly evening, when Rinoa was walking down the sandy beach of Balamb, she spotted something out in the blue-green sea.

"What is that?" Rinoa thought. Ships didn't usually come in to dock this late at night. Normally she would've just ignored the ships and continue with her walk, but something about this one was different. She ran towards the information building that held a daily schedule of in and outgoing ships. Carefully she scanned the list of ship names and times. Finding nothing about this ship she ran back and hid behind a building just in case this ship had something she wasn't allowed to see. 

When the ship docked she waited for about five minutes but nothing happened. Rinoa was about to leave when she heard a very familiar voice.

"Yeah. I'm going now to Balamb Garden. Thanks for all your help!" The guy who had just spoke wore a black cloak that was tightly wrapped around him. His hood was pulled up over his head and it was dark already so that Rinoa couldn't tell who it was. She had a deep feeling that it was Squall, though. Her heart raced at the thought of him being back.

A deep rough voice answered back. "No problem, Leonhart."

She knew it! It was Squall! She didn't care how he got back, but that he was finally home. Rinoa ran as fast as she could from her hiding place and enclosed her arms around his body. "You're finally back…" Silent tears of joy fell and landed on his jacket.

"Rinoa?! Is that you?" Squall pushed back the hood to reveal his blue-gray eyes that sparkled with excitement in the star-lit sky. He ran his fingers sensually through her hair. "I missed you so much… You don't know how much I love you…" Rinoa was about to speak but he silenced her by placing his lips over hers.

Rinoa lightly sucked on Squall's lower lip before speaking; their lips still barely touching. "Where have you been? Everyone thought you were…" Rinoa thought she could say it, but she realized it still made her upset.

"Shhh… Let's go back home. I have lots to talk about."

"So you were lost with other people and they claimed you dead? Couldn't you sue them for that? You had us all worried! But didn't you have tracking devices on you or something as a safety precaution?" Selphie re-capped after Squall told everyone what had happened.

Squall looked around the lounge room, glad to see his friends were okay. Rinoa was comfortable in her position- snuggled up next to Squall. Irvine and Selphie shared an armchair while Quistis was on the couch and Zell leaned against the couch on the floor beside Quistis' legs. It was odd to him that Zell was quiet and not joking around at a time like this. Maybe he should go talk to him later. Hugging Rinoa tighter he answered Selphie's questions.

"It wasn't their fault, Selphie. We did have trackers, but my group had to abandon our gear, including our trackers during a fight. So, we had nothing left afterwards but our instincts, I guess you could say. It took us awhile to get back because we had no maps or anything. I'm just thankful we all made it back." Squall turned to his left and lightly kissed Rinoa on the top of her head while watching Zell out of the corner of his eye. He tried not to show his puzzlement when the blonde just stared at Rinoa and him, then immediately looked away.

Before anyone got to say anything, Zell asked to be excused. Since they were all excited about Squall being back, they just waved him off and continued their conversations.

Squall wanted to make sure that his best friend was okay. The rest of them ignored Zell like nothing was wrong with him. Had something happened to Zell while he was gone? Quietly he told Rinoa he'd be back, then slowly followed Zell out of the Quad. 

Zell headed outside and sat down on one of the benches positioned next to some foliage. He buried his head into his hands after looking up into the starry sky. Since he was too deep in thought Zell didn't hear Squall come up and sit next to him.

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Keep messing with my head…

'What could I do? Just sit here and let Squall get hurt unknowingly? It wasn't right! I should have never been with Rinoa or even listened to her… I have to tell him… somehow. Even though Rinoa wasn't supposed to say anything, I can't just let my best friend not know something as serious as this…' Zell kept running the same thoughts and reasons through his head, trying to find some sort of reasonable answer to help with his problems. Should he tell Squall? It was the right thing to do, but it would hurt Rinoa badly too. But, after-all, it was her that triggered the decision… but it was him who went along with it…

"Hey, buddy… you okay?"

Zell tightened his grip on his head as Squall's soothing voice startled him. Gradually Zell lifted his head and sat upright to face Squall. Concern filled all the features of Squall's face when Zell didn't answer but just looked at him with a pleading look.

"Um… Some things happened… w-while you were dea- gone." Zell struggled to find the right words.

Squall's eyebrows narrowed, sensing this was some powerful news- and not necessarily good. For comfort Squall put an arm around Zell and squeezed his upper arm. "You can tell me anything… you know that."

It was hard- hard not to do the right thing when you promised another not to tell. Zell swallowed and looked straight into Squall's eyes. "It has something to do with… Rinoa…"

"She's okay, though, right? You promised me to take care of her while I was gone…"

Zell took in a deep breath knowing that this was the only time he could do it. "Rinoa… had sex-"

At the word 'sex' Squall jumped up and shook Zell. "Who's the bastard?!…"

Zell couldn't believe what was happening. He hung his head loosely between Squall's tight grip on his shoulders to hide the tears running down his cheek. He was ready for what Squall was going to do to him- ready to die.

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With some other guy…

"…Me…"

A/N: How'd you like it? If you like this story, please tell somebody about this! I would love to hear more feedback whether it's good or bad. (I like people pointing out my mistakes or giving suggestions. ^_^) Thanks for reading so far and don't forget to review! I also noted that there wsn't much lyrics used in this chapter- oh well, I'll make it up in the next one.


	4. that made her cry

Again, thanks for the reviews! And sorry that this took long to post up! It took way longer than I expected. Enough with the blather, you probably want to read this last and final chapter, huh? Well, don't forget to review! Thanks again.

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Cry Me a River: …that made her cry.

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By Reikamae

Rinoa glanced at the clock then stood up. "You know, it's getting kind of late. I'm going go and find Squall then go to bed-"

"With Squall, yeah?" Irvine laughed at his own joke. "Sorry. I just had to say it. Yeah- we'll be here for a little bit longer. See you in the morning." 

Rinoa had to laugh when Irvine winked. She loved how her friends always knew how to cheer her up. Now she turned her attention to Squall. "Where is he? He just came back and he chooses now to wander around?" Then she remembered that he had got up and followed Zell. She headed to Zell's dormitory and hoped he was still awake.

"Zell? Is Squall with you?" She knocked twice, but thought he was just asleep when she heard nothing. Just as she was about to leave she heard the click of the door's lock opening. "Zell?"

"Rinoa? No, he's not with me. I think I saw him heading to your room, though."

Something about Zell was different. Rinoa studied his face but couldn't quite put a finger on it. There- it was his eyes. They looked sort of puffy and red. "Are you okay? Have you been cry-"

Zell immediately turned his head. "Goodnight."

"That was weird. I wonder what happened." It didn't take long for her to reach her room, for it was only a hallway away from Zell's. Once she was inside, she saw Squall staring at the wall. "Hi, Squall. How'd you get in?" She walked towards him and reached over to touch him, but he turned around and his dark, expressionless eyes were what had stopped her. They were usually full of spark- but now they looked a lot like Zell's. Anyone could tell he had been crying earlier.

"You have something to tell me?"

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But I bet you didn't think your thing would come crashing down, no…

Did he find out? No, it can't be that. Zell promised we wouldn't tell anyone let alone Squall. "What do you mean, Squall? Maybe you're just-"

Squall's cold stare didn't change. He could see that he was making her uncomfortable. "No. I believe you have something to tell me. Something really important."

Sweat now beaded across Rinoa's forehead. She had no idea what to do. There were no more doubts in her mind. Squall was definitely talking about what Zell and her did. Should she confess to him or just keep denying it?

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You don't have to say, what you did…

"You know what? Nevermind. You know exactly what I'm talking about, don't you?"

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I already know, I found out from him…

Squall waited for a response from Rinoa even though he knew there wasn't going to be one. He knew his words had made a big impact. He could see it. "You… why couldn't you have told me? Instead I had to find out from him. From Zell."

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You told me you loved me… 

"I thought we loved each other! I thought we trusted each other!"

"But we do, Squall…" Rinoa couldn't say much because she was in total shock. In fact, she wasn't even crying. It all hadn't sunk in yet. Maybe this is all just a dream…

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It wasn't like you only talked to him and you know it…

"And the greatest way to show love is to have sex with my best friend?! What kind of a girlfriend does that?! At first I didn't want to believe him… my own Rinoa would never do anything like that. Nothing to ever hurt me…"

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Now you tell me you need me…

Now Rinoa was on the verge of crying. "Squall… please don't leave me… I need you… I still love you."

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You should've picked honesty. Then you may not have blown it…

"Well, this is a shitty way of showing it. You should have just told me. Zell said that you guys agreed this would be a secret. That you were never going to tell anyone. Is that true? If you had just told me I probably wouldn't have to-"

"No! No… please Squall… I'll be all alone. I promise I can make it up to you, really…"

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Girl I refuse, you must have me confused… _Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be…_

"Nothing like that will fix this. Ever. I can't be with you anymore. You've lost all of my trust…" Squall left Rinoa, who was now sitting on the bed with her head buried in her hands. He reached for the doorknob and said one last thing.

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Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn _to cry me a river…_

"I've done my part- now it's your turn to cry me a river…" With that said Squall slowly closed the door after hearing the satisfying sobs coming from Rinoa.

A/N: And that was it! How did you like it? Did it suck? I want to know! Please review- even though it's a one-liner or a flame. I like to learn from my mistakes. I'm not some person who cries everytime she gets a flame... geez. Thanks for reading my story.


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